Are you asking the wrong question?

As we hurdle towards the New Year many of you will be stating resolutions for 2012. What is a resolution? Literally defined, it is the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action. The problem is that most of said resolutions are destined to fail, not because of lack of will, but rather due to lack of direction, meaning and accountability.

First off, many of you are simply asking the wrong question. The question is not “what,” but “why.” I do not care “what” it is you want to change, I want to know “why” changing this is important to you. Let’s use the age old resolution of “getting in shape” as an example. It makes little to no difference that you want to get into shape. WHY do you want to get in shape? That one differentiation is the key to adhering to your resolution and not allowing it fall by the waste side. What is your “WHY?” What is the reason behind your decision to make this change? Why do you want to get in shape? To look better, feel better, have more energy, relieve stress? WHY? Think about this for a moment and then write down your answer. Yes, write it down, on a piece of paper, in black and white and place it in front of you so that you can see it. “I want to get in shape because I want to have more energy.”

Now that you have your “WHY” you have already made it further then the majority of your New Years resolutions constituents. Now let’s take the next step and break this down again. Why do you want your “WHY?” Why do you want more energy? “I want more energy because I want to be able to play with my kids more.” That’s great, but now let’s really take this beyond the norm, where resolutions go not to die, but to be realized. Why is your “WHY” important to you? Why do you want to play with your kids more? I want to play with my kids more because I want to spend more quality time with them. Why is spending more time with them important to you? What would spending more time with them mean to you? What would it mean to them? How would spending more time with them make you feel? How would it make them feel? How would this enrich your relationships with each other? How would this translate to the rest of your lives and relationships?

Now we are on to something. Now you have not just a want, but a WHY and an emotional connection to why that is important to you. This is a simple exercise and yet the single most important step to actualizing your vision of a new reality. Make it happen. Make this year different. Make 2012 the year you saw your resolution through to its completion!

Wait just a minute! How will I know when my resolution has been completed?! Excellent question, now you’re thinking like someone who is making positive change. Stay tuned to tomorrow’s post to find out the next step after you have made the connection to your WHY.

Watch out 2012 here we come! I have my “WHY,” what is yours?

What I Learned from My Puppy

Yesterday was my puppy, Wynter Skye's, first time off leash on a hike with me. Based on some positive feedback I had received from her puppy instructor I was inspired to take her out on the trail with me and allow her to run free. What came next was unexpected.

I am sure that everyone has heard some version of the quotation, “If you love something set it free; if it returns its yours forever, if not it was never meant to be.” Until yesterday I thought I understood the meaning of those words, however, applied to my "child" they brought about entirely new emotional responses of hesitation, exhilaration and ultimately satisfaction. In fact I would restate that quote to read, "Until the moment you allow something to go free it is impossible to truly comprehend the breath of your feelings."

As we started out down the trail and came to a spot that was far enough away from the parking area I decided this would be a good opportunity to release my little girl into the wild. I had no idea the emotional rush that was about to overwhelm me. As I took Wynter off leash and she realized that she was free she bolted down the trail. My initial inclination was to immediately call her back, run after her, stop this madness and regain control. Alas, I did not. I held my tongue, allowed the energy to move through me and allowed myself to experience the sheer joy of my puppy being free to run in her natural state.

What happened next was a pleasant and reassuring surprise. Wynter suddenly stopped! She stopped about 100 feet in front of me and looked back to make sure I was coming and then waited for me to catch up before again enthusiastically bounding down the trail. This process was repeated throughout our two-hour hike and in fact she never went much further in front of me then that initial distance!

This got me to thinking, as one tends to do when traversing in silence under a eucalyptus canopy, about how this lesson could be applied to my life. Where else was I holding on to something rather then allowing it to go free? Where else was I missing out on an otherwise beautiful experience by worrying about attempting to control an outcome? I began to see the meaning of that simple quotation in a whole new light. “If you love something set it free; if it returns its yours forever, if not it was never meant to be.” I now understand that by holding onto that which no longer serves me or restricting the freedom of another it is in fact you that are held back in restraints.

The question now became, if indeed I was holding onto something, why would I be doing so? Why would I be restricting my own happiness in such a way? Fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear that I may not receive my expected outcome. Fear that I will fail. Fear that I will fall. Fear that by letting go I may actually become more powerful then I ever imagined. Fear does not allow for a life well lived. What you do not know can be intimidating, but it is invigorating! If you fail, you can try again. The only way to become a failure is to stop trying. If you fall, you have the ability to get back up and the strength to know that you can. What about power? With power, after all, comes great responsibility. Responsibility can be scary, but with it comes control. Ironic, isn't it, that by letting go you are actually gaining control.

So what do you have to lose? What is holding you back by not letting go? Close your eyes, take a deep breath and release that leash of fear. It might be scary, but the freedom and insights gained from the experience will light up your life in a whole new way.

See you out there on the trails. I'll be the one with the smile on his face, following the wild and free puppy with the curled tail!